Helicopter damper

[Parm]

More worrying when you don't swim and they remind you Don't blow up the vest till your out

Been there, done that, got the tee shirt.

I was pinned to the roof of the simulator, when it was upside down in the swimming pool cause I panicked and inflated vest early.

The bar stewards laughed for bit before they pulled me out. I was the joke of the night in the pub

 

[brightspark]

Have you ever tried this in freezing cold North Sea water where your grasping for breath due to cold shock

Your level of dismissive ness is beginning to **** me off. Very very much

Infact you’ve just earned a place on my block list. Person no 3

great you wont reply to anything i say then happy days / no great loss

 

[Maker]

Once you get over the ‘shelf’ and into deep water the temperature plummets.

CVP's like that, maybe 3 feet deep around the edge but quickly falls away to god knows how deep, I've heard anything from 20 feet to "The Arts Tower could fit in it" . There's also a popular urban legend that researchers at the uni released some Wels Catfish in there 20 years ago and they're still lurking in the depths, along with the pike and zander that probably definitely don't exist.

 

[zeppelin builder]

Did a bit of agency work for the odd trip over the years to keep the hours up on my vantage card (use it or lose it and often I wouldn’t get on a heli for months). Anyway. I did 2no 3week trips on one rig. The radio operator was a big fat fk. He was made by everyone else, forcefully a few times, to sit in the middle seat. His nickname was ‘plug’. You can work out why I’d think if you’ve ever seen the windows on a 139

the medic on one of the barges i was on was a big fat ker no way he passed a medical was out of breath gettin off his chair

 

[James1979]

the medic on one of the barges i was on was a big fat ker no way he passed a medical was out of breath gettin off his chair

Worked with a few like that.

Usually live in Thailand and buy the medical. Chief Engineer on a ship I was on didn’t want to go for his survival refresher because the rugby was on so he sent his houseboy with a load of bhat. Short time later he was back with a certificate and stamped seaman’s book

 

[Morrisman]

the medic on one of the barges i was on was a big fat ker no way he passed a medical was out of breath gettin off his chair

We had a black guy turn up on my ship in the Gulf of Mexico. New hire, American dude, huge, weighed 350lbs, big sack of lard. He was a nice enough guy, but nobody could work out how on earth he passed his Sea Survival and HUET training, let alone a seamans medical.

Turns out he was fast tracked through the system by some political mover and shaker shore side. And nobody dared say a word against it.

He was sent off after 2 weeks, with chest pains, and we never saw him again. He couldn't climb a ladder, definitely couldn't get through an escape hatch. He had to have special overalls and life jackets made to fit him. And he had a Cpap machine to sleep at night.... on the sofa in his cabin, because he couldn't get into his bunk.

Health and safety? The hypocrisy in my company was mortifying.

 

[Stueeee]

The last couple of courses I did in Stockton on Tees we used a rebreather, like a hot water bottle strapped to your chest, and you could re-breath your air up to a dozen breaths before it started to get a bit muggy. The secret was to give it a double blow up before you went underwater. You could easily stay submerged for well over a minute.

The last thing I'd be wanting to use in a stressful situation in water would be rebreather. All the ones I've seen use soda lime to remove the Co2; once it's wet, as in accidently blowing mouthful of water into the mouth piece, the soda lime stops working.

 

[daleyd]

The last thing I'd be wanting to use in a stressful situation in water would be rebreather. All the ones I've seen use soda lime to remove the Co2; once it's wet, as in accidently blowing mouthful of water into the mouth piece, the soda lime stops working.

The old offshore ones are not a rebreather in the sense that a diver would know them, they were just a bag that you inflated before you crashed (supposedly). It would give you enough oxygen for a few breaths - enough to get out of a window but they were not meant for anything more.

The new type have a small compressed air cylinder rather than this, enough for a few minutes of use. Because it’s compressed air you have to have a fit to train certificate. Also you’re not allowed to use them during the dunking phase as they can’t guarantee the depth you go to, over I think 1 m you need full diving certificate - so you do the dunking/rolling over just holding your breath. You get to use the compressed air by the side of the pool at the start.

 

[Kayos]

The old offshore ones are not a rebreather in the sense that a diver would know them, they were just a bag that you inflated before you crashed (supposedly). It would give you enough oxygen for a few breaths - enough to get out of a window but they were not meant for anything more.

The new type have a small compressed air cylinder rather than this, enough for a few minutes of use. Because it’s compressed air you have to have a fit to train certificate. Also you’re not allowed to use them during the dunking phase as they can’t guarantee the depth you go to, over I think 1 m you need full diving certificate - so you do the dunking/rolling over just holding your breath. You get to use the compressed air by the side of the pool at the start.

Who knew you could find even more reasons to not go in a helicopter over water

 

[Parm]

Who knew you could find even more reasons to not go in a helicopter over water

Its brilliant fun

You only die the once if it goes wrong, often leaving no evidence behind

 

[daleyd]

I flew out from Den Helder to a Dutch gas platform a few years ago - it was an Airbus helicopter I think, much more plush than the usual s92 used from Aberdeen. Same rules etc, but it’s a tiny heliport and much more relaxed, had a row of seats to myself on the way back!!

I have no interest in offshore work full time (I do maybe a couple of trips a year currently, but not a huge amount) but I could possibly make an exception for out there.

 

[James1979]

I flew out from Den Helder to a Dutch gas platform a few years ago - it was an Airbus helicopter I think, much more plush than the usual s92 used from Aberdeen. Same rules etc, but it’s a tiny heliport and much more relaxed, had a row of seats to myself on the way back!!

I have no interest in offshore work full time (I do maybe a couple of trips a year currently, but not a huge amount) but I could possibly make an exception for out there.

British sector is rubbish. Outdated crap run by absolute fkwit plastic yanks.

When the oilmen came to the North Sea we, the British, just rolled over and let them behave like that. The Norwegians said no, you’re not making us work in those conditions and treating our people like that. Change or leave. The Norwegian sector is run totally different. They do a 60/40 split off/on - think about that - and their longest trip is something like 2 and a bit weeks from memory. If they go over they go on a higher rate and get extra days off.

Other European North Sea sectors are not that good but loads better than the UK side.

 

[daleyd]

British sector is rubbish. Outdated crap run by absolute fkwit plastic yanks.

When the oilmen came to the North Sea we, the British, just rolled over and let them behave like that. The Norwegians said no, you’re not making us work in those conditions and treating our people like that. Change or leave. The Norwegian sector is run totally different. They do a 60/40 split off/on - think about that - and their longest trip is something like 2 and a bit weeks from memory. If they go over they go on a higher rate and get extra days off.

Other European North Sea sectors are not that good but loads better than the UK side.

I've never been to Norwegian sector but the couple of Dutch and Danish one's I've been on seemed pretty good, but much smaller platforms than the usual NS ones. Last one I was on was about 6-8 guys. The chap doing dinner was in the control room a couple of hours before

 

[Barking Mat]

Here's a crazy story.

 

[Morrisman]

British sector is rubbish. Outdated crap run by absolute fkwit plastic yanks.

When the oilmen came to the North Sea we, the British, just rolled over and let them behave like that. The Norwegians said no, you’re not making us work in those conditions and treating our people like that. Change or leave. The Norwegian sector is run totally different. They do a 60/40 split off/on - think about that - and their longest trip is something like 2 and a bit weeks from memory. If they go over they go on a higher rate and get extra days off.

Other European North Sea sectors are not that good but loads better than the UK side.

Some Norwegians I worked with were earning over $1000 a day when offshore. They have a special government contract that means they get paid the same no matter who they work for. And if crew change was cancelled or delayed, for whatever reason, $500 a day bonus, on top of the extra days salary for working.

 

[Barking Mat]

Some Norwegians I worked with were earning over $1000 a day when offshore. They have a special government contract that means they get paid the same no matter who they work for. And if crew change was cancelled or delayed, for whatever reason, $500 a day bonus, on top of the extra days salary for working.

Where do I sign up ?

 

[James1979]

Some Norwegians I worked with were earning over $1000 a day when offshore. They have a special government contract that means they get paid the same no matter who they work for. And if crew change was cancelled or delayed, for whatever reason, $500 a day bonus, on top of the extra days salary for working.

Yup.

There isn’t a pay gap between races there either. It’s the same wether you’re British or Norway. Same rules if you’re in that sector. I wasn’t there long. It was a 6 month job. Then we were off to Denmark. A year or so later I got a letter saying to go to job centre. I had some money from the Norwegian government in a pot that I could spend on training. But only training. And it only lasted one tax year. Was a couple hundred quid. Spent it on a hydraulic course

I ended up that side because I was at sea with Mammoet / Kran Ringen on a jack up barge. Had to do Norwegian survival etc etc. the crew I was with were mostly Danes apart from me and they were on some contract! It was all government regulated so they got a per diem as well as the usual food etc on board. They were only allowed to do so many days as well before they had to rotate off. They always rotate a day early to allow for weather as it’s so expensive if they have to stay.

The Dane’s pay a massive amount of tax. Something like 60% base rate mind. Same in Norway I think. I got taxed a lot there but claimed a bit back.

Although if they’re out of Denmark for more than 90 days they get it back. Lots of lads will go abroad for their time off for that reason. Cheaper to go to Thailand for 3 weeks and get tax back.

 

[Parm]

I flew out from Den Helder to a Dutch gas platform a few years ago - it was an Airbus helicopter I think, much more plush than the usual s92 used from Aberdeen. Same rules etc, but it’s a tiny heliport and much more relaxed, had a row of seats to myself on the way back!!

I have no interest in offshore work full time (I do maybe a couple of trips a year currently, but not a huge amount) but I could possibly make an exception for out there.

I flew out to a platform in the Mediterranean

Got to the heliport in Haifa and waited and waited. After the Israeli's finished pointing guns at us and generally giving us a tough time we went to the check in area. No survival suit, safety briefing, PLB, life vest - absolutely noting.

Just jumped on board in shorts and tee shirt, pilot let me sit in the front. Ive got some awesome video, particularly of the landing on the boat

 

[Morrisman]

I flew out to a platform in the Mediterranean

Got to the heliport in Haifa and waited and waited. After the Israeli's finished pointing guns at us and generally giving us a tough time we went to the check in area. No survival suit, safety briefing, PLB, life vest - absolutely noting.

Just jumped on board in shorts and tee shirt, pilot let me sit in the front. Ive got some awesome video, particularly of the landing on the boat

Last boarding crew change I did was in Ciudad del Carmen in Mexico, southern Gulf coast, and someone messed up the heli booking so we had three nights in a hotel, then chopper out the next day.

It's supposed to be a very dangerous place, people go missing all the time, so our shoreside manager gave us a 7pm curfew on leaving the hotel. Of course, a few of us were naughty boys and had to slip away for a little bar hopping. Nothing happened, no gun play, no cartel hits, just lots of cheap beer.

 

[Parm]

Last boarding crew change I did was in Ciudad del Carmen in Mexico, southern Gulf coast, and someone messed up the heli booking so we had three nights in a hotel, then chopper out the next day.

It's supposed to be a very dangerous place, people go missing all the time, so our shoreside manager gave us a 7pm curfew on leaving the hotel. Of course, a few of us were naughty boys and had to slip away for a little bar hopping. Nothing happened, no gun play, no cartel hits, just lots of cheap beer.

They told me that in Iraq, so of course we ignored all the rules. No alcohol due to Ramadan

Guess what, our security knew exactly where to take us. One of the lads had to drive the Landcruiser back to the hotel

To be fair the Streets in Irbil felt safer than bits of West London I know